Understanding Tattoo Regret: A Personal Journey

Imagine you had to put a shirt on in your twenties and now you have to wear it for the rest of your life. That is what it feels like to get heavily tattooed before you turn into a fully developed adult human. I’m covered in tattoos, and I pretty much regret all of them. A lot of people think I got the tattoos for the aesthetic or to be cool. But the reason I got them was very important to me at the time.

All my tattoos are custom and very expensive. I had somebody draw them up to the specifications of exactly what I wanted to make my body look a certain way. In fact, my tattoos are for anti-aesthetic reasons. I’m 36 now, but 20 years ago, because I looked a certain way, people—mostly men—had preconceptions about what I was like and who I was. But I knew I was not like they thought.

Guys would expect me to be their all-American breeder housewife, while women would think that I was stuck up or full of myself. Being able to control what my body looked like was very important to me. There were many other ways I could have gone, but I picked tattoos. They were how I took control. To me, though, my tattoos are a form of self-harm.

Table of Contents

• My Tattoo Experience
• Reflection on My Tattoos
• The Tattoo Community's Reaction
• Personal Growth Through Regret

My Tattoo Experience

When I decided to get tattooed, it was a way to express myself at a time when I felt misunderstood. I wanted to look different; nobody else was as tattooed as I was. I wanted to look harder and not be noticed by a bunch of dudes. I remember thinking that today’s me could have told me back then, “Hey, that’s like a thing for guys, it’s kind of worse.”

Now, in a place where I can be soft and gentle, I wish I didn’t have these tattoos that remind me of that time. The tattoos I chose do not reflect who I am at 36; they reflect a moment in my twenties—a moment when I was not doing so well mentally. I'm not getting all of my tattoos removed; that's not even feasible. The tattoo art is great, and I still get a ton of compliments. I just wish they weren’t on my body.

Reflection on My Tattoos

As I reflect on my tattoos, I realize they symbolize a part of my life that I’ve outgrown. Many of my tattoos are over 15 years old, yet they’ve held up very well. The linework is still good, and I often get stopped about one on my left forearm. It took multiple sessions to create, and while it’s colorful and beautiful, I still regret it.

One of the tattoos I get the most compliments on is on my neck, which is a gray wash ornamental tattoo based on antique lace. Ironically, my dumbest tattoo is actually well done, but exposure to a tanning bed has diminished its appearance. It’s large and on my upper right leg, depicting Lady Death riding a pale horse side saddle. To show it off, I have to pivot, as it's impossible to see the whole piece otherwise.

The Tattoo Community's Reaction

There is a stigma in talking about tattoo regret; you don’t want to feel like the boomers were right or hear “I told you so.” I've faced some harsh comments from others in the tattoo community, who invalidate my experience. They often interpret my story as a personal attack, believing I’m saying they will regret their tattoos too. But I’m just sharing my personal journey.

I have been told by other members of the tattoo community that I must have gotten tattooed for the wrong reasons or that I am a poser. This is wild considering my style and preferences have remained consistent from the early 2000s until maybe 2018/2019. I spoke up because I think it’s important to connect with those who feel similarly and help them feel less alone.

Personal Growth Through Regret

Regret, in my experience, informs my growth. I was told I would regret my tattoos as I aged, and now that I am older, I do. However, looking back at my past choices helps me identify what I would do differently today. I don’t believe in the “no regrets” lifestyle; it’s less likely to drive positive change in your life.

I hardly notice my tattoos most of the time, but it can be frustrating when others pigeonhole me because of them. Through therapy and self-discovery, I have learned to manage my feelings about them. I acknowledge that these tattoos are not something I would choose to do today, but I keep moving forward, embracing my journey and growth.

Sara Mills is a 36-year-old chronic oversharer living in coastal Virginia with her partner of 11 years and two poodle mix dogs. You can find her on TikTok and Instagram. All views expressed in this article are the author’s own.